As I snuggle up next to you and say prayers, I can’t help but notice, you smell like summer.
That familiar smell of sunscreen. That outdoor smell. Your cheeks are lightly sun kissed. Too young to remember the events of the day for long. Exhausted from our day of fun.
Falling asleep with snuggles
You want snuggles before you fall asleep, pretty much every night now. I know many say that I shouldn’t do it. It spoils you. But to be honest, I enjoy those nightly snuggles as much as you do. Maybe even more.
For just a couple minutes every night I lay down next to you and you wrap your tiny little arms around me. The worries of the world disappear. You smile at me and close your eyes. The smile lingers on your face for a few seconds more.
Sometimes, I lay there for only a few minutes. Then, I give you one more kiss and we say good night before I leave. But other nights, nights like tonight, I lay here and watch you as you drift off to sleep.
When time stands still in summer
Tonight, you smell like summer. A fresh reminder of the fun day we had as a family. The giggles. The swimming. The ice cream. The sun. The sand. It’s also a reminder of how fast this time goes. As I look at your little two year old face, the past summers with your sisters at this age flash through my mind.
At this age each of you really wanted to be with mommy. My sidekicks. My little best friends. As each summer passes, I’ve watched them become a little more independent. A little more grown-up. A little less wanting to have fun with mommy and more with their neighborhood friends.
You rub my arm with your little hand. You say “goodnight mommy” in your sweet little voice.
The sweet smell of summer lingers.
Summer is my time with you and you alone
Summer is my time, my few brief weeks each year where I can focus on being mommy. I’m not lying here with a stack of papers to grade, emails to return or lessons to plan. I’m just mommy. And I love these few short weeks. This is my time.
The dishes can wait. The laundry can wrinkle. We don’t have anywhere we have to be tomorrow.
Your long eyelashes are fluttering as you sleep. I wonder if you are dreaming about the day we had.
You smell like summer.
This won’t last – and that’s ok
You remind me of how fast the time goes. That I need to cherish every second of this. Of the snuggles, games, swimming, hiking, drawing with sidewalk chalk. Playground tours and zoo trips. The beach during the day and movies at night.
It won’t be long before you are independent too. You won’t want to snuggle mommy before bed. You won’t beg me to push you on the swing. You will want to spend time with friends more than me. And that’s okay. It comes with growing up. You will soon grow up just like your sisters. But the time seems even faster with you. You already want to follow them everywhere they go. It won’t be long before you can keep up.
But tonight, tonight you smell like summer. And I’ll lay here, watch you sleep and think about all the memories we can make this summer. Memories that you are too young to remember but that I’ll cherish always.
I know this time goes by fast. I’ll blink and this summer will be over. I only have so many until you are grown, even less now with your sisters.
So tonight, I am just going to lay here a little longer, because you smell like summer.