You know those moments in life where you think to yourself, “This could not have happened at a worse time”? Yep, today we had that moment. Only this time God didn’t send a subtle hint.
Attempting to stay calm
I wasn’t late for work or stuck in traffic being saved from a possible wreckage ahead. The kids weren’t too unruly. Or more so than usual I should say. Instead, my husband awoke in the middle of the night in debilitating pain. He’s had this pain for a few years now but this flare was different. Instead it came back with vengeance and would not let up.
Morning came and I got the kids ready, off to school and I headed into work. Only to receive a text that my husband was on his way to the ER.
“Ok, stay calm.” I repeated positive affirmations in my head as I very much wanted to be there for my husband just as I would drop anything for my kids, but the ER’s are all at max capacity and we are running on skeletons at work. My day was packed with patients. I texted him often throughout the day and the main response I got was, “I’m still waiting in the ER.” As the day went on my patience grew thin awaiting answers.
Over eight-and-a-half hours later my husband calls me and tells me he’s heading to the OR for an emergency appendectomy. His mom headed home from the hospital and I finished our nightly routine and tucked the kids into bed.
“They finally have an answer” I thought to myself. I hadn’t slept the night before and I knew I wouldn’t get much sleep tonight either. Luckily the surgery is very simple yet common, but it wasn’t the surgery the upset me. It was the fact that I wanted to be in two places at once. Possibly three. Let me explain.
No easy solutions
I don’t call out of work often. I have the time but it’s always the policy surrounding it that gives me anxiety. Just the week prior, I took a day to be with my baby girl whom was diagnosed with RSV. Sometimes they just need their mama. So today I was faced with wanting to care for my kiddos, wanting to be there for my husband and not wanting to let the office down.
I stopped what I was doing for one minute. My back against the wall. I slid seemly down to the ground and just closed my eyes and prayed.
I prayed for God to reach out and heal my husband. I prayed and thanked him that it was nothing serious. I prayed that he would allow me the rest I needed knowing he was at the end of a long road without answers. I prayed that he’d pour a little more into my empty cup to fill me up more mentally, emotionally and physically. I prayed for patience and understanding surrounding his timing.
But I learned a few things
Although it wasn’t a subtle hint, this speed bump brought me to ponder about a lot and prioritize my thoughts and actions.
- Praise be to God
- Above all, family first
- Everyone is replaceable at work, but it pays to be a good loyal asset
- People will understand
- No one ever looks back on life and wishes they would’ve worked more
- Your husband and kids will understand when life makes you choose and you’re pulled in different directions
- You’re trying your best
- Life is too short
- Never stop believing for the better good to come of all situations
God is always knocking on the door of our heart
Maybe he was telling us to slow down. Maybe he was telling us we needed a break. Maybe he saw us at our breaking point and knew he needed to do something about it. But what he also knew is that my husband is built like a brick wall. This man withstands anything and everything. He has to be feeling like he’s dying to take a day off of work. And today it was just that. So debilitating that he tried to drive himself and couldn’t.
As I sat bedside him in the morning during his recovery I heard the “delivery” song play over the announcements signaling a baby was born. I couldn’t help but smile. Well played, Lord. He knows I love children. Especially my children. No one can make you smile quite like a child. And it was in that moment he knew exactly how to get me to crack a smile.
I looked at my watch. As for the kids, they still had five hours to go at school and for once I had my husband to myself. Just him and I on this rainy day. Waiting here at the hospital to be discharged. Nothing but a rainy day filled with undivided attention and recovery ahead of us.
When life gets you down, just remember He is there watching over you. He is still protecting you and He knows exactly what you need when you need it.
Life isn’t as serious as we make it out to be . Take a deep breath and thank God for watching over you today