I have found myself asking the question “am I enough?” I lot lately.

Was I enough for my kids?

Do I work enough?

Do I do enough ministry?

Do I cook healthy enough meals?

Do I save enough money?

Do  I make my kids read enough?

Am I good enough?

Do you ever ask that question? Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try or how much you give up or how much time you give to other, somehow it is never enough?

If not, you can stop reading, and can I get your phone number?

My son got married last weekend. And I cried for weeks leading up to it. The entire time he was growing up I felt so not enough. I never felt like I was a good mom. I felt like a miserable failure most days.

We fought all the time, he made choices that scared me to death – but he also made some great choices. He is an elementary school teacher now, He has a wife that he loves very well, he has made his own path to faith in Jesus and I really like him.

Insecurities led me to prayer

I promise you I never felt like I was enough when he was growing up. But that led me to my knees. those mother prayers in the middle of the night, those anguished cries for my child, they were answered. All I did was stick in there, kept pursuing relationship with him, kept on believing in him even when he made stupid choices. I never stopped praying. And that has made all the difference.

I prayed over Luke every day was  “I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord,  plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for a hope and a future” 

I was right, I was not enough,

I am not enough – but I know who is.

Stop being so hard on yourself, Mama

Us moms are so very hard on ourselves. We look back and wish we had done things better, we long for a “do over”.  Can we just give ourselves a break? Please.

Can we just enjoy our children? Can we stop wishing for days gone by and start enjoying the days that we are living now? Transition is so hard and letting go is even harder, I know, I’m right there with you.

Here’s the thing: I’m afraid we are missing the joys of today because of our regrets of yesterday.

We all make mistakes. We need to leave them in the past.

We miss those little faces that looked up to us as if we hung the moon. We long for little arms around our necks and kisses on our cheeks. We can must grieve those days but we must move on so that we can enjoy today.

Our identity rests in our Creator

Our identity is not in who we raise. Our identity in is Christ. I have found that this stage of life has made me focus more and more on Jesus and on the identity He has given me. I have time now to sit at His feet without little ones always under foot.

I think God wants us to know that its ok to not be enough. It’s ok because He is enough. And that is enough for me.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.