Often moms, especially Christian moms, are made to feel guilty for working outside the home or pursuing a career.
It is even worse if, dare I say it, we like working. We are made to feel as if we are less of a mother.
I am sure we have all heard the comments:
- Moms today are neglecting their children.
- Moms are so selfish and self-centered.
- Moms care more about material things than their kids.
- Moms expect someone else to raise their kids.
- Moms priorities are off.
- Moms in my day went without for their kids.
- Moms shouldn’t work.
- Moms can work when their kids are grown.
If moms stayed home we wouldn’t have (insert world issue here).
The list goes on and on and on. We are made to feel as if we are somehow damaging our children. But it really isn’t that simple. It isn’t a black and white issue. It is full of shades of grey. And no family situation is exactly the same.
For my family, it isn’t about having lots of extra things or keeping up with the Joneses.
On paper we could live on one income. On paper. It would be tight. But we would be fine…as long as nothing went wrong. There were no car problems, home repairs, appliances breaking, or heaven forbid someone required surgery. We would be fine, or on the brink of bankruptcy.
Being fiscally responsible is biblical. Paying your debtors is biblical. And that is exactly what we are doing. We are paying off debt and being responsible to ensure that our family is cared for.
Once having kids, I longed to be home with them.
I felt guilty for enjoying my career. But over the past 6 years I have learned a lot. Though I love the time at home with my kids, I also love my job. I am no longer feeling guilty for helping to provide for my family.
For every “expert” reason a mom shouldn’t work, there is a counterpoint. Honestly, we could waste a lot of time going back and forth and comparing. Instead of a stay at home mom vs working mom “thing,” can we just agree whatever mom you are…IT IS HARD? Both come with challenges. Both have positive and negative outcomes on kids. But our kids are going to be fine if we are providing what they need most: Jesus, our love, our attention and appropriate discipline. Instead of arguing which is best, let’s try and support each other. Not judging. No determining what is right or appropriate for someone else’s family. Each family is unique.
Working moms are not being selfish or self-centered. We have determined the best way for us to contribute to our family.