Your friends get together and because you’ve turned down invites so many times,: you’re left out more frequently than you’d like. You see their photos together on social media, the fun times. Your whole life right now is about your kids and you love that. You feel a pang of jealousy inside when you see them together and wonder why you didn’t get an invite. Their togetherness makes you feel alone sometimes.
Moms, I see you
Your husband works away and you miss him every single night. You know it’s what you need to do financially, you know all the reasons, but the loneliness eats away at you. After all, you got married with the hopes of never being alone again. No kiss goodnight makes you feel alone sometimes.
Your last child is a teen who shrugs their shoulders when you ask a question. You want their littleness back at times. They are around you frequently and usually asking for something: present but absent at the same time. Their “bigness” makes you feel alone sometimes.
Missing adult conversations
You are covered in kids from sun-up to sun-down and on through the night: but you miss adult company. You are in the little stages, the trying stages, the tantrum stages. You would never admit it out loud but sometimes you yearn for adult conversation. The lack of time to invest in friendships makes you feel alone sometimes.
Your family lives away and you long to sit on the couch and chat with your parents. Parenting struggles are real and you have a truckload of things you’d like to get off your chest. You need them there to listen and not judge. When your mom friends talk about having their family close by it stings just a little. The distance from the ones you love makes you feel alone sometimes.
Sometimes family just isn’t there
Your extended family is uninvolved and you wish they took an interest in your kids. You try so hard to converse and develop relationships but your texts and phone calls are seldom returned. You send photos and birthday cards and are fairly certain they remain unopened. You don’t know why and it hurts in the deepest part of your being that they seem to not care. Their lack of interest makes you feel alone sometimes.
Your dad is not around, in fact he’s been an absent father for most of your life. You thought once you had kids something would change, perhaps he’d take an interest. You have always desired his affection, his presence and even now, as an adult, that unmet desire has left a gaping hole in your heart. His lack of involvement makes you feel alone sometimes.
You just don’t fit in – I get that
You don’t fit in with the other mom’s, you try but you just don’t. You’re tired. You want to talk about how you really feel about parenting or you’d rather zone out and talk to no one. You don’t have the energy to impress anyone anymore. You thought clicks ended in high school, but after going to your first playgroup you know they don’t. Your view from the outside makes you feel alone sometimes.
To the mom who feels alone sometimes, I see you, I’ve been you and sometimes I still am you. Even when I have a million reasons not to feel alone, I can find one that makes me feel alone: when a friend “unfriends” me on social media, when someone walks right on by at the grocery store without so much as a hello.
It’s easy to feel alone and it’s even easier to make others feel alone without even realizing we are doing it. Sometimes I am just cleaning up my social media accounts and sometimes I am so pre-occupied with my kids I am trying to get out of the grocery store as fast as I can, no time to say hello.
Social media has left us empty in many ways
Social media has lied to us, over the years it has led us to believe that everyone is doing something fun all the time. It has led us to believe everyone is connected all the time. It has led us to believe that everyone is doing something important all the time. It has led us to believe that it is not okay to even “be” alone at times, let alone “feel” alone at times.
Sometimes I am doing the best I can with the very little energy that I have left after a very long day. I know you are too. Sometimes I am only human and sometimes I get jealous. Sometimes I long for what I don’t have instead of appreciating what I do.
The older I get, the more I appreciate alone time and the more I understand why Jesus went off on his own to be alone sometimes. The world is loud and abrasive and overwhelming.
We need to give – and get – grace
We need to give each other grace and we also need to remember that we are loved by the One who said: “I will never leave you or forsake you.”
To the mom who feels alone sometimes, I want you to remember the it’s okay to be alone sometimes, it’s alright to feel alone sometimes and at the end of the day, when you throw up your last prayer, to make it through whatever tomorrow throws in your direction: you are never really alone.
