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The Longest Year of Marriage

As we near the one year mark of Covid, I can’t help but think of how this has been the longest year of marriage yet. It’s been a different kind of “togetherness.” At times we’ve been short-tempered and impatient. We’ve disagreed and went to bed angry. Most days consisted of:

“Hey, I have a target drive-up order ready” “The groceries need to be picked up”
“Can you stop that home project for one second to help me out?”
“Why won’t the internet work?”
“Who’s watching the kids today?”
“Are you picking the kids up or am I?”
“Why is there so much laundry?”
“Can you help me with the dishes?”
“These toys need to be picked up AGAIN”
“Where’s my mask?”
“Please sanitize your hands!”
“We are NOT going to that gathering! I’m sorry!”
“I’m tired of cooking”
“What should I pick-up for dinner?”

Anyone else feel the same? It’s like everything we normally did pre-Covid became a burden and a mundane task that we just had no energy to complete. It’s been one heck of a soul-sucking year.

Date-nights have been non-existent. I’ve counted down the seconds to bed-time more times than I’d like to admit. My coffee consumption, well, we won’t talk about that. Working in healthcare has been completely draining. We count the days down to the weekends, just to wake up on Sunday mornings depressed that Monday is lurking around the corner.

Can we never say “this is the new norm”?

And I am so tired of hearing the words, “This is the new norm.” I can’t wait till this pandemic becomes a distant memory. Till we can resume family gatherings and vacations. Till we can freely eat out in public and feel comfortable doing so. Till we can stop letting our anxiety control our whole day. Till we no longer have to constantly explain to our children what’s going on.

Sadly we have not been to an in-person church service in one whole year. It’s been the most depressing year of our lives. Surely every family has been living differently and has their own comfort levels, but we’ve been pretty trapped in our bubble for the past year.

Our marriage became a testament

This test was our testament.

Looking back, at the end of each day, our family’s health was all that mattered. We are blessed to have not only survived this year of marriage but survived to live more together which is all we could ask for. Even if we wanted to strangle each other from time to time.

You know that peanut butter drugged knife he left on the side of the counter right next to the sink rather than in it? That’s still in my arsenal for exhibit A in our future divorce case. Kidding! Please tell me I’m not the only wife with these pet-peeves. Pre-Covid I didn’t have time to let these things bother me, but during this pandemic my anxiety has really gotten the best of me. If you’re sitting there nodding your head, just know you are not alone. Also a big thank you to my husband for putting up with me. I’m not easy to handle at times.

I love my husband with all my heart but surviving this past year has by far been the most challenging year of our marriage to-date. But here we are still standing strong. If I’m being perfectly honest, I wouldn’t want to have spent this chaotic time with anyone other than him. He’s my closet friend in life. My secret keeper, my cheerleader, and my biggest fan. He motivates me to keep going but also reminds me when I need a break. He’s the reason I’m still standing and going through the motions everyday even when I’m mentally exhausted. He’s always believed in me even when I found it hard to believe in myself.

This togetherness has been a lot, but it’s strengthened our bond, our marriage and our ability to parent our two beautiful children.

If we could survive this pandemic mixed with the most political year of our lives, I’m pretty sure nothing can come between us.

Trisha Bender

Full-Time Healthcare worker and mom blogger. Trisha is a mom of two littles 1 and 6. She lives on a little bit of coffee and a whole lot of Jesus! Trisha captures relatable parenting moments through her blog. In words of Trisha, “Writing has become a therapeutic outlet in this crazy world where we are all just trying to live day to day.” Facebook: IG:

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