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Send help, signed a #girlmom

It seems like you can’t scroll through Facebook on a typical day without seeing the daily #boymom post, usually a funny little story or picture from a mom depicting the rough-and-tumble, injury-ridden, mud-slinging life with all boys. But sometimes I wonder, where are the #girlmom stories?

I currently I have one boy and one girl but I have enough experience with my three-year-old daughter to know that there are some truly hilarious and horrifying things about these little baskets of sugar and spice (side note, somebody coined the term “threenager” for a reason).

Shoutout to the parents of crazy little girls

There is a poem that I heard years ago by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, which consistently comes to mind when I think about my daughter:

There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good,
She was very good indeed,
But when she was bad she was horrid.

Truer words could not be spoken. My baby girl can be the sweetest, cuddliest child you ever met. She loves pink, sparkles, rainbows and unicorns. She’ll draw you ten thousand pictures and loves to cook and bake yummy things with me in the kitchen.

But there is a special kind of drama in that kid. She will throw temper tantrums for absolutely no reason. My husband came home from work once and had the audacity to ask her something about her day. She proceeded to yell at him, “Daaaaaaad!” as if he’d committed some terrible offense, and turned around and ran into her room, slamming the door behind her.

The poor man looked at me, bewildered, and I didn’t’ have the heart to tell him, “wait until she is twelve.”

“My vagina is burping”

When she is mad at you, boy do you know it. She has a scowl you could not imagine, well maybe you do if you have one these kinds of kids, and will walk around the house looking like she’s trying to set you on fire with her eyes.

And the things that come out of her mouth. Have mercy. My son is not the one I worry about when we’re in public, it’s my daughter.

I don’t know how many times I’ve spoken with her about not talking about mommy’s boobies and other private matters. Yet one time she was laying next to me on the couch making burping noises. When I asked her what she was doing she responded, “My vagina is burping!” Needless to say I first thanked the Lord that there was nobody else around to hear that, and then had a talk about appropriate and inappropriate joking.

All this to say, where are you #girlmoms? I want to hear your stories and I especially want to know, am I alone here?

Melissa Darnell

I am originally from the Pacific Northwest, Vancouver, WA to be exact, but now reside with my husband and two beautiful children in the Charlotte, NC area. I grew up a performer, and spent most of my time both dancing and teaching ballet. When I was 20, I moved across the country to Florida, where I drove back and forth between Orlando and Tampa, performing in different capacities at both Walt Disney World and Bush Gardens. I spent the rest of my time obtaining my Pilates teacher certification and then worked at a local Pilates studio as well. After three years in Florida, I moved back to Washington state where I taught Pilates and worked as a nanny, a few years later, my best friend introduced my husband and I, via the internet. We were married just 9 months later and my husband moved from his home in Charlotte, NC to be with me in WA a few months before we married. Ten months later, our son was born, and just over two years after that we were blessed with our second. After that, life circumstances, and many doors being shut for us in WA, led us to make the decision to move our little family across the country back to North Carolina, where we remain to this day. My journey as a mom has been somewhat unconventional for sure, my second baby was born at home for instance. I always feel the desire to advocate for and help educate others, the way I would have liked when I was making my early parenting and baby decisions. How overwhelming it is nowadays! I have been a teacher since I was a teenager, in some way or another, and so I suppose that you could say God has blessed me with the gift of teaching and exhortation. One of my newest hobbies is that of cooking, as much from scratch as possible, which is amazing to me, given that I always used to be terrified of it! I even hope to begin a Youtube channel soon with cast iron cooking demonstrations, but, one thing at a time! These days, I am very much enjoying being a full time mom and wife, and am preparing to begin homeschool for my firstborn. I am loving learning how to Garden and cook new and healthy things. I love so much being able to parent my own children now, and am so grateful to God for the immense blessing of these two little ones. It is incredibly difficult at times, our family has been through some really tough things, but I trust in the Lord, and remember that though he never says we will be without difficulty, he does promise to be our help, and so he has been.

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