If you’re one of those people who runs around trying to keep everyone happy, there comes a point where you need to realize that no one else is running around on fumes trying to do the same for you.
From the moment you became a Mom, you vowed to keep your babies happy. Not audibly, but in your heart. You imagined a perfect life for them, but you need to stop and remind yourself that your life has not been perfect thus far and theirs will not be either.
Moms are experts at carrying all the things
Stop. Take a breath. Don’t take all of this on your shoulders.
You were never meant to keep everyone happy, your family, your friends, your kids, even them. They need to learn how to be happy on their own too, just like you. You can teach them this, how to smile in the face of adversity, how to sing in the midst of pure sadness, but you can’t do it for them.
You were never meant to be put on the “all things to all people” pedestal: At your job or in your home. You’re driving yourself mad, burning the candle at both ends. Step down Mama, remove yourself from the pressure of trying to keep things running smoothly for everyone else.
You were never meant to carry it all, don’t try
You were never meant to stress and worry and have knots in your stomach. You were never meant to run to the bathroom with flight or fight symptoms when something you can’t control takes over your mind. You can’t control the winds of change in your life or the lives of your children. You don’t know what happens next and you can’t force the outcome.
You were never meant to accept and embrace the sadness of those around you as though it belongs to you. No one is happy all the time, not adults, not kids, happiness is a feeling that comes and goes. Stop trying to prevent everything that could go wrong, that’s a big job, it was never meant for you, it’s not yours.
It’s okay to let others be sad sometimes, because real life involves a mix of both. This is why you can’t keep others happy all the time and that’s okay. You can’t prevent the storms, and try as you may there will be days you just can’t get that kid smile.
Because you were never meant to carry it all, don’t try
You were never meant to keep everyone happy, your spouse, your parents, your extended family, They need to learn how to be happy on their own without you being their sunshine.
You were never meant to try and fill everyone else’s needs while leaving yours on the sidelines. You were never meant to dig your heels and grit your teeth all while trying to be perfect for the ones you love.
Be kind to yourself
You were never meant to scold yourself when you mess up. You were never meant to talk down to yourself. You were never meant to look in the mirror and immediately see flaws while looking at others and only seeing the good.
You were never meant to try and cover up the not so perfect parts of yourself. You were never meant to hide the less than perfect parts of yourself away. You were never meant to worry about what others would think of you if they knew your mistakes and short-comings.
Don’t let others take the happiness you’ve fought so hard for
Life is a dance of happy and sad times, woven together we learn gratefulness and appreciation. We learn sacrifice and just how much strength we truly have inside us. You’ve picked yourself up from rock bottom before and you desire so deeply to do this for others but you just can’t. Sometimes they have to do it on their own just like you did.
Those things in your life that you fought for. That smile you fought for when battling post-partum depression, that relationship you fought for when everyone else told you it was time to give up, you appreciate those things so much more because you fought for them. You appreciate and embrace your own happiness so much more because you fought for it.
Don’t let others take it from you. Don’t let others snatch it away. Don’t feel bad for being happy when someone else is sad; for you have been on both sides. You have fought through immense pain and tragedy, days you thought you would never smile again. Those around you went on with their daily lives.
I can tell you what you were meant for
You were meant to know the unconditional love of a God who can carry it all for you. You were meant to know a love that lasts no matter what. You were meant to know a love that never ends. An everlasting love.
You were meant to know forgiveness and grace, you were meant to know a joy that far exceeds happiness, for happiness comes and goes but joy remains. Even in the sadness joy remains. It peeks on through the clouds. Its the sparkle you can see in a mother’s eyes even when her heart is breaking.
Carrying all the sadness in others and in the world was never meant for you sweet Mama, start carrying the joy.