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How Three Women Made Me a Mom

For years, I was pro-life, but under the radar. I knew abortion would never be an option for me, but I did not want to be too vocal about it. I did not realize how pro-life I was until three women made me a mom three times over because they chose life and they chose adoption.

In the face of adversity, inconvenience, and poverty among other issues I am unaware of, they chose life. Now I consider myself unapologetically pro-life. I consider myself to be extremely blessed that those three women were pro-life, too.

Learning we could not have children

My husband and I are 100% unable to conceive biologically. I was never given the chance to become pregnant. I watch many others throw their pregnancies away. It is soul-crushing to a degree I cannot explain in words. Although we could not conceive, we did not blame God or get mad. We live in a broken world, and we take part in the brokenness. Through this trial, we learned that when things get hard keeping one foot in heaven helps provide perspective. Heaven is our home; it is not promised to be perfect here.

We grieved when we got the news that we would not bear biological children. But the grief faded rather quickly as we put our trust in God that he would provide us a family. Whatever plans He had for us, would be greater than anything we could fathom. At the end of 2011, I quoted on New Years Eve, “Some things falls apart so other things can fall together.” Man, was that going to be true for us in 2012.

God answered our prayers

Adoption was exciting to us, and we jumped right into the process. I kid you not, after exactly nine months of finding out we could not conceive, we were holding a 4lb 8oz baby boy!

It is easy to forget that legally each of the three mothers to our three beautiful children could have chosen to terminate their pregnancies. Perhaps it was even provided to them as an option. But they did not. We do not judge the lives of the birth moms. How could we?

These moms chose life so I could become a mother

When push came to shove (literally), they chose life over convenience. They chose love of other over love of self. They chose a baby if not for themselves then for someone God had in mind already. These words do not weigh lightly on me. They chose life. And now those three lives are my whole life.

You can read more about our adoption journey here (hint, God wrote some pretty crazy and incredible stories).

Commemorating the sanctity of life

The National Sanctity of Human Life Day is every January (editors note: the U.S. Supreme Court handed down Roe v. Wade, the decision that legalized abortion, on January 22, 1973, hence the chosen month). This year it is January 22, 2022 and the national March For Life in the nation’s capital is January 21st.  

I get emotional every January about the birthmothers that chose life so I could be a mom.

If you want to join and march for life in 2022, there are several options across the US in this first quarter of 2022. These are free marches and some of them request you register online.

Other ways to be pro-life

If you cannot march, you can always pray. Prayer is not a useless task; it can move mountains. You can continue to write to legislators. There are many other ways you can help.

See, with being pro-life comes a responsibility. We must not simply be pro-life; we must live it out. That means showing it with our time, talents, and treasures. It means supporting mothers who choose to parent. It means helping children in the foster care system.

Love is the answer

Love is the answer. Not hate. Life is a gift. Let’s respect the gift we’ve graciously been given. Each life has as much value as the next. No exceptions. You cannot be pro-life and hate others. Try this. Try to think of someone you really do not like, maybe even hate. You do not ever have to agree with them or be happy with their choices but decide to love them. Decide to treat them as an equal brother or sister in Christ. Pray for them. Watch your heart change. Watch the world change.

I share my thoughts on the pro-life movement not to call judgement upon those who have had abortions or took part in other actions that affect the sanctity of life; (because chief of sinners I am). I share to spread hope, forgiveness, and a revival of love. I share because there may be a “blob of cells” out there that could become family, like mine.

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