It’s time we talk. If we don’t begin the hard conversations, if we are not the ones fighting for our children, who will?
A recent statistic broke me. 54% of women who have an abortion profess to be Christians. Let that sink in. Re-read it a few times.
Where are we going wrong?
Women are so afraid of condemnation from family, peers and church, that they believe killing their baby is the answer. Some teens are even forced by their parents. Reflect on this for a second, whose approval is being sought? It isn’t that of God. Instead, portraying a false narrative to others is taking the lead.
Hiding the sin of premarital sex has become more important than the life of a baby.
Where are we heading if we see ending an innocent life as acceptable?
The church is clear that life is from conception to natural death. If we believe that God is sovereign and only He creates and ends life, when did we determine that decision was ours? Think of it this way: when we choose abortion, we are basically telling God that He made a mistake in creating that life, and that we will fix it. If Jesus was standing right in front of you, would you tell Him that He got it wrong?
This conversation can’t wait another minute.
Now, let’s be clear, I am not saying that we codone premarital sex. But I believe we need to change the way we approach the topic of sex with our children, and maybe even with ourselves. We give this responsibility to someone else or wait for a law to be overturned that has existed since 1973.
When children are young they ask “why” about everything. As they get older, they don’t stop asking why, they just stop asking us. Instead they are asking friends, celebrities and the media.
We need to be the first voice in their ears.
Abortion continues to become more acceptable as it is promoted in mainstream entertainment. Women speaking about how abortion helped them to achieve their dreams. Friends will tell them chastity is some outdated and ancient teaching.
These messages are loud, but we need to be louder.
I am not an expert, but the solution starts within the walls of our own homes and churches. We need to be living examples to our children. Are we, as parents, following the church’s teachings on sex and contraception? In the world we live in, we can’t simply tell our kids “don’t have sex until marriage” and expect that to be sufficient.
We need to do better.
Teach the “why”. Be prepared for the hard conversations. Are we teaching our children the value of their bodies, or are we shaming? Each of them is a special creation of God that is made in His image. Their body is too valuable to be used or lusted over. Sex is a special gift God has given to us as a renewal of our marriage sacrament. Physical intimacy is a gift they will share with their spouse.
Teaching “why” sex is so important in marriage is vital.
But we can’t just teach the beauty of sex, we also need to be willing to share the tough consequences and challenges a married couple faces when one or both is not sexually pure when entering into marriage. Sometimes these conversations are uncomfortable but honesty is important, even when it is hard.
There are many Catholic parenting and marriage books out there to assist if you simply don’t know where to begin. One such book, “Good News about Sex and Marriage: Answers to Your Honest Questions about Catholic Teaching” by Christopher West is a game changer. As an adult I learned so much, and it could have changed my whole teenage point of view. My husband and I have already discussed how we are going to teach these ideals to our girls in age appropriate ways.
Have an impact outside of your home. Love your neighbor. Love your neighbor, who sins differently. Love the person, not the sin. Wrap your loving arms around those that have fallen short and sinned in this way. Help them to go to God, repent and be forgiven. Help them to see value in the life inside of them. We all sin. We should not judge others simply because they sin differently than us.
As fellow believers, we need to not look down on or gossip about pregnancy outside of marriage. What we need to do is remember, “I, too, have sinned and have fallen short of the glory of God.” We need to ask ourselves: if my sins were on display, how would I want my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to treat me?
Our mindset needs to change. We must love like Christ.
If we as Catholics believe that life starts at conception, we believe that we are not to kill, then we must also believe that no reason exists for abortion. Our wonderful Father in Heaven created that life.
These conversations need to happen. Within these conversations needs to be real education about the true nature of abortion, about the sanctity of life and the importance of chastity; with love and not shame.
We must teach the why.
If you had an abortion, condoned your child’s abortion, or even forced it: God still loves you. Repentance and forgiveness are possible. You do not have to live in shame. We have a spirit of freedom in Him. We were never meant to carry all burdens on our own. Allow Him to cover you in love. Then use your voice to save other pre-born babies. Use it for God’s glory. Use it to share God’s truth.