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“Another girl, are you going to try for a boy?”

“It’s a girl!” I remember yelling as the pink silly string came out. Here we were at our first gender reveal party and announcing our third baby was going to be a girl. My husband and I stood with one kid each, our three-year-old and one-year-old, as we sprayed the silly string at each other. We had another baby on the way, another baby in four years – another girl. This makes three girls.

Everyone had an opinion

It wasn’t long until the comments started.

“Another girl, are you going to try for a boy?”

“Your poor husband.”

“I feel so bad for your husband.”

“What’s wrong with you Jay? You can’t produce boys.”

“Oh I am sorry it’s not a boy.”

With every comment my heart sunk. Why was another girl not as exciting as a boy? I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. I may have snapped a little at the woman in the grocery store who made the comment about feeling sorry for my husband in front of my other two girls. I can blame my rudeness on pregnancy hormones.

I can handle the comments. They frustrated me. But, I can handle them. But you have crossed a different level when you say that in front of my girls. Don’t make my girls feel less because they are not boys. Don’t put thoughts into their minds that their daddy would love them more if they were boys or wishes that they were boys. All of those assumptions couldn’t be further from the truth.

My husband is a proud “girl dad”

But as so many feel bad for him not having a son, he never has. He says he is a girl dad. He doesn’t know how to be anything else. And there is nothing he can’t do with a daughter he could with a son. He teaches them skills, he plays sports with them, as I write this he has my older two out hunting. He is actually more patient than me when it comes to teaching them new things. He allows them to help with home repairs. He takes them hiking and fishing. He doesn’t limit them or put them into a box.

You know what else he does? He wears the crown, he rocks their baby dolls and plays the “girly” games with them too. Not for one second has he valued them less than a son. Never once has he been disappointed. Each baby girl he has embraced and loved completely. The first time he held each of them is forever in my mind. His emotion holding his baby girl was beautiful. And those girls, those girls adore their dad.

Every baby is a blessing

Our society seems to value sons more than daughters. But those girls are each a precious gift from God. A beautiful creation made in his image. Every baby is a blessing. He knit each of them in my womb. And God chose us to raise them. What an amazing gift. I look at my girls and I am so thankful for them. I still get questions frequently on if we are “done” or “trying for a boy.” My response is always the same “I will gladly accept more children if God has them for me in His plan and I would love to have a son but I would also love another daughter.”

I have felt this very deeply and pained for my girls and hoped they didn’t pick up on the comments that have been made. But, I also know mothers of boys who get the reverse questions, like having only sons is a bad thing as well.

Little ears are listening

The “perfect family” is not two children, a boy and a girl, and a dog. The perfect family is the one God created for you. I am happy with my 3 girls, but I am also open to more children if God gives them. My husband and I believe that being open to life is an absolute requirement of our faith in God and following His will for our lives. It isn’t about what I want, but what God knows is best. I would love to hold another little baby in my arms. I am also satisfied and thankful for the three I get to snuggle now. That third girl, she is two now. She is wild and comes with her own set of rules, but she is also the sweetest little thing and adores her mommy. She has made it clear she isn’t ready to turn over the title of baby just yet.

I think we have to be careful in our speech when approaching parents and implying that they aren’t going to be happy with their family until they have a specific sexed child. It’s hurtful and more so we have to be cautious that those little ears are listening. My girls are valued and loved. Their daddy is such a proud girl dad. Seeing him with his girls makes me fall in love with him over and over again. We want our children to know they are special creations of God. He made no mistake in how He made them. They are special and loved by both their parents and more importantly by their Heavenly Father.

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Donna Brown

    Thank you for this. As the proud mom of 3 daughters, I completely relate to this. My girls are all grown and married now, but I remember all of the comments made when #3 was born. And no, we didn’t have any more babies. My sweet husband was (and still is) thrilled with his daughters. He gave them self-confidence and set the bar quite high when they were choosing a husband. We never felt cheated out of having a boy. And I did get my sons when each daughter married wonderful men! Interestingly, my 3 grandchildren are all boys.

  2. Melanie

    I’m not so sure it’s society valuing boys more. I think it’s the “ideal” of one boy and one girl, and “you shouldn’t have too many kids.” We have three boys and got some of the comments about trying for a girl or one of our boys should have been a girl. We love our boys! And when We finally became pregnant with a girl after many miscarriages, I was in disbelief. I expected another boy. What am I going to DO with a girl? I’m a boy Mom! Of course, I love her so much. My husband is super delighted to have a daughter. And I’m still in disbelief that I actually have a girl. My point being… We were just happy to be blessed with whatever God gave us. We would have been so happy with a fourth boy, but God knew we needed a girl.

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