For men, pregnancy can be very confusing. There are physical changes, lifestyle changes, appetite changes, emotional changes, sleep pattern changes, hormonal changes, doctors appointments, and on top of all that, women have started talking about their pregnancy in weeks instead of months. It’s so confusing. After the seven pregnancies I have been through with my wife and consulting with other fathers, here are a few things I have put together for the new fathers out there.
Side Note: I can not tell you if you have to go to the baby showers. I was never made to go to one. Part of me wants to say to you it’s not normal for the fellas to attend, but it is totally up to you and your gal. Good luck with that.
1. Women Will Want To Sleep Through The First Trimester
Growing humans takes a lot out of a gal. If she is getting up and still going to work, you should know that she is a bad ass. When they get home and want to take a nap before going to bed, that’s totally normal, and you should let them. She is going to be able to fall asleep any time and anywhere. Are you used to doing something active and fun on Saturdays? Not anymore. Saturdays are for napping – all day long. Just take this as an opportunity to watch movies she doesn’t like, play video games, or maybe even take a nap with her.
2. You Will Not Be Able To Keep Your Hands Or Eyes Off Your Wife And Her Beautiful Belly
I told a buddy of mine after his wife got pregnant, that there will come a moment when she will become so hot, so round, and so stinking gorgeous that you won’t be able to look away and you won’t be able to keep your hands to yourself. He didn’t believe me.
A couple months later, he told me I was right. He could not believe how right I was. I am not sure what it is. Maybe it’s being so in love with your wife and growing family. It could be jealousy that she gets to experience something so out-of-this-world amazing. It could just be that everything is so round and attractive. I love the way my gal looks when she is pregnant. I am so happy and so in awe of her, I can’t keep my hands to myself.
3. That Whole “Enhanced Sex-Drive” Thing Is Hit Or Miss
But I was told… I mean she’s gonna… I was looking forward to… You mean it’s not always true?! Women are sometimes sick and very sleepy in the beginning. In the middle, your chances are good, but it’s still not guaranteed. Towards the end, it’s awkward and uncomfortable for all involved. I’m not saying you will be on the bench for 9+ months. I am saying don’t buy in to the sex-crazed pregnant wife thing you’ve heard about in magazines, movies, and TV shows. The hard part is going to be not getting upset if her sex drive crashes. Just be patient. You’re growing a family.
4. Expect To Constantly Find Your Wife In The Bath Tub For The Last Couple of Months
You might think I am kidding, but I am not. Baths are no laughing matter to a woman in her last couple weeks of pregnancy. If she is past due? She will probably be taking her meals, watching her shows, and caching naps in the tub. One of our close friends was pregnant and living in a trailer home while the built their new house. Our families would do movie and pizza night together at my house every Friday night. Well, she didn’t have a tub to sit in for her last trimester. So, every time they came over, she would borrow our tub while the rest of us enjoyed pizza and a movie. Who do you think was happier?
5. You May Or May Not Cry Uncontrollably When Your Baby Is Born
Do not let anyone tell you what kind of emotions you are supposed to have when your child is born. Just go with it. If you are so overjoyed, you can’t stop smiling? Perfect! If you are crying so hard you can not speak or hold your child? Good! If you are still coming down off being worried because the mother and/or child were in danger? Nothing else matters!
I sobbed when my oldest child and first daughter was born. I had three more boys and cried a little less each time. But, I ugly cried when our adopted son was born. I wasn’t there for it and I received updates via text. My point is every birth story is different. Don’t feel bad if it’s not what you expected. I remember thinking I wasn’t as bonded to the child as I should be because I wasn’t emotional enough. Just remember, this is just your first meeting with your kid. Its a starting point for you relationship to grow. Trust me, there is plenty of time for bonding between diapers and late night feedings. For now, just be in the moment. Be yourself. You will never forget this day.