There are a lot of resources about becoming a mother, what to do after the baby is born, how to sleep train, how to deal with the terrible twos, entry into school, college applications. But in the midst of all that advice, there’s a lot I believed about motherhood that was complete and utter nonsense – and a lot of expectations I had that could never be met.
20 lies I believed about motherhood
20. I believed Motherhood would come naturally to me: but from the day I brought my first baby home, it didn’t. It became something I learned and practiced and grew stronger at every single day.
19. I believed Motherhood would be easy: but it wasn’t back then and it isn’t now. Once I climb one Motherhood mountain and make it down the other side glowing with sweat, another mountain comes along. It’s a hard climb. It teaches me to rely on God’s strength and not my own to get to the other side.
18. I believed I would never grow tired of it: but at the end of each day I am exhausted. Mentally and physically. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t. I’d be lying if I said I never have days where I dream of a cabin in the woods that does not include tantrums, crying or screaming. I grow tired, but I also grow in patience and perseverance. Motherhood grows me in ways I never thought possible and for that I am grateful.
17. I believed I would have so much patience: but I don’t. I have patience yes, but Motherhood takes unconditional and never-ending patience. That is not something I possess but it is something I pray for each morning. It reminds me that God has never-ending and and unconditional patience with me.
16. I believed I would want to spend every waking moment with my husband and my babies: but I don’t. I am a person who thrives on alone time and I know I need at least a small chunk of it each day too recharge. I don’t know anyone who likes to be around people all the time, so when I get my alone time I cherish it.
15. I believed family outings would run smoothly: but they don’t. Someone always ends up crying or hurt or needing to pee. They definitely don’t run smoothly but they do provide us with funny stories that we will be able to laugh about for years to come.
14. I believed I would have a beautifully organized home: but I don’t. I can’t find things. Toddlers hide things and move things and after three of them tearing up my house I’ve given up on beautiful organization until everyone is at least out of diapers, or maybe never.
13. I believed I would do everything on schedule: but I can’t. Something as simple as finding two shoes can take an extra 10 minutes. My kids are at that stage they want to do everything themselves and I let them. So sometimes this means the schedule goes out the window. Sometimes spontaneity is less stressful.
12. I believed I would never disappoint my kids: but I do. At least once a day I am cranky or grumpy about something and at least once a day they are cranky or grumpy about something. We let each other feel all the feelings in our home. We apologize for our mistakes. We love unconditionally.
11. I believed I would never disappoint my spouse: but I do. He didn’t get a perfect wife he got a real one with real emotions. He got a really emotional one who loves him to the moon and back but sometimes gets annoyed by the littlest things.
10. I believed I would do it all as flawlessly as my own mother did: but I don’t. In my eyes my mom has always been perfect because I didn’t see her mistakes, I saw her love. I felt it everyday. It made her perfect in my eyes regardless of any mistakes she might have made along the way. I hope one day my kids feel the same.
9. I believed I would be a gourmet chef: but I am not. My kids just had frozen pizza for dinner because I was exhausted. I am good at baking and my husband is a good cook so we work together as best as we can in the kitchen.
8. I believed I would have tons of energy: in reality I feel like I have absolutely none compared to my kids. They are little energizer bunnies, they energize me with their hugs, kisses and silliness.
7. I believed I would smile all the time: but I don’t and neither do my kids. We aren’t in a parenting commercial or a family movie, we are in the thick of everyday life with all it’s seasons. It’s a rollercoaster ride.
6. I believed I would be so grateful for everything I have: buy sometimes I’m not. Especially not when I’m run-down. Sometimes I forget that the things I once prayed for are the things I have now.
5. I believed I would be a professional cleaner: but I’m not. Not even close. The cleaning part is not the hard part, it’s the keeping up with it part. If I just had to clean once a day my house would look immaculate, but after a bazillion messes: just no.
4. I believed I would always have clean clothes: but I don’t. I’ve grabbed from the laundry hamper on more than one occasion. Sometimes there’s a mountain of clean laundry on my bed and sometimes there’s a mountain of dirty laundry on my floor: it’s called balance.
3. I believed I would be so fun all the time: and I am most of the time, but not all the time. Sometimes I just like to sit quietly with my kids and let them chat about what’s on their minds. Sometimes quality time doesn’t look like the super fun videos they watch on YouTube of kids jumping into ball-pits that their parents made out of the living room couches.
2. I believed I would maintain all my friendships: but I haven’t. I have a hard enough time keeping up with my kids and my spouse. I am constantly doing maintenance on my family. I am terrible at maintaining friendships in this season, but maybe someday I’ll go on coffee dates and shopping trips again. For now it’s all about my little team at home.
1. I believed I would be perfect: but I’m not and I’m glad I’m not. Perfect is boring. Our kids need to see our imperfections so that they can accept their own as they grow up. I’m learning that the beauty of parenting lies in the imperfections.